Blog
Here I share cute cat pics, tips, stories, and some poems and songs I have written. Please don’t steal thanks mgmt
Poetry
September 20, 2023
I am viewing myself as the woman that I know I am on this campus. No longer the child that was ripped away from everything that she loves while in the thick of my own success. I know how to properly manage myself and the successes that I can take in day by day. I know now what people and what things are for me, and what no longer serves me truly. it took a while to see who was harmful to my plan and then i had to realize. i am the only one who can deviate from my own plan and decide who gets to mess with it. peopled my mind taken over by their pity party for years until they moved on and i was left with the remnants. this hurt me and disabled me i felt like. because i had friends that i knew that knew me and “cared” about me, for once it felt like. they did not truly know or care about me, just about how they could make sure they were good. that they graduated, no matter who they had to put down in order to get there. to make sure that nobody would put hands on a man that they loved, because they had already tainted them with their own love. this is the toxic culture that growing up in columbia is and what it creates. i tried to stay for so long until realizing i was only staying for love. after that i have no remorse for the culture of people here and what they do to people who care for them so gently. it does not matter how gently you might handle a person, they will always rehandle the situation on their own and 9/10 it will be messy. people around here have no heart bc they did not ever get to earn one. we have all been heartless, lost souls wandering around attempting to find home. i found home.
My home is always myself being Chanté. but with my home i am no less of myself. i am just reiterated and i am him with a bit more added on :) it is a perfect match, the perfect fit for me. the key to my lock. the lock on my heart was covered in ice for years until he butchered through and helped me get out of my depression and anxiety and mental block that i took on after feeling so low in myself.
rejection can truly be detrimental. you can die of a broken heart. so always protect your heart from the hard days. protect it from those you love because one day they might not love you the same. but you have to remain. always remain you/ even if they leave.
Find A Friend.
find a friend
talk to them all day
get attached
they move away or you move away
the relationship changes
you meet someone new
repeat
this happened to me every year it felt like. because i never knew how to be a permanent addition in someones life.
i still dont.
but day by day you realize
you do not pick what is permanent for you
until you let go and let it be
i lost my best friend in 2021
he was with me since 2013
he was all i knew
how i coped
then i lost myself
doing things i had never done before
then i knew it was time
for a rep
a change in flow
a change in me
i had to find the growth
and it was outside of the dogs
i needed to venture the cats
to see the other side of things
my side
knowing all
loving one
being true
to the moon & the sun
Girls
when you know you have the right girls
they won’t put up a fight against what is right
they will know what to do
they will figure out how to do it
all to ensure their own success
while fighting with women who need the dressing
always be there for your sisters
you never know what mister might try to miss her
then she may end up alone
afraid
not knowing how to move forward
that is where we come in
sisters
from different misters
from different sphincters
it does not matter
we are all girls at heart
we have all been young women apart
we come back together as women to start
the fight that needs no introduction
feminism is for us all
fighting for equity
not needing a call
to get us out of a bad spot
only needing our head and the knowledge of it all
knowing that even when put away
we are here to stay.
women know all
men start to fall
then we come and save the day
we are all superheroes
in our own ways alike
we can fight the battles assigned to us
until we see the broader battle
then we will know where we stand in the fight.
some on front line
some supporting from behind
just know you
and know how to always be you
no matter what fight comes by.
we will always be the bigger person.
Nursing Values
Diversity, Inclusivity, Commitment, Caring, Integrity, Respect, Professionalism
Hi My name is Chante’ Williams. I am interested in becoming a labor & delivery nurse as well as continuing on with my education to ultimately become a nurse practitioner. I chose nursing because even from a young age I had an interest in helping people, and volunteering furthered this interest. I specifically am interested in labor and delivery because of the struggles that women have to go through during this time, and especially being a black woman in America, I wanted to be able to be a voice for black women as well as other women of color in getting the best care possible.
I first became interested in the field of nursing when a group of nurses came to speak at my school for career day. They spoke about their experiences in the career and stressed the importance of representation and inclusivity in the field. This sparked my interest because I feel as if being in my role as an African American woman, I can use my voice and assist women who might not be able to use their own voice in situations that might not be ideal for them. I also feel as if it is important to give your patient a voice when they might seem like they need a helping hand.
A nursing value that stands out to me is commitment. Commitment is important because once a patient is put into your care, you are obligated to provide them with the best care that you are able to provide. having a commitment to your position and your role is important because as a nurse you are given many responsibilities.
If I could travel anywhere I would travel to Spain.
Journal Entry
Thursday December 1, 2022
This month marks the start of the end of the YEAR. This year has been full of trials, tribulations, lessons, and triumphs. Overall I feel like this year helped me in learning that I am the only one who has control over my life, and I have to start acting like it. Truthfully once I saw a friends post about turning 20 it spoke to me because i feel like that is the point where i really have to come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be a child, and this truthfully is the end of an era. Once I turn 20 I want to truly focus on myself and my future, envisioning myself where I want to be because I am going to make it there regardless. I am going to figure out how to limit my anxiety, I am going to find what makes me happy and run with that. I am going to find WHO makes me happy and stick with them. Im just so tired of all of the bs that this year had to offer, from taking Peepaw away from us to my mistakes ending in deciding to drop patho. I feel like the one thing that I do to myself often that I do not want to do any more is not believing in myself, to my own downfall. I also spend so much time thinking about the things I regret doing, or not doing. But also I have to give myself the time to grow up, process everything that I am going through and finally boss up. Although I am hurt and upset with myself about not doing all that I could in patho, if it was meant for me to have remained in the class and passed, I would have known. Next year I just know I want to approach it all differently, focusing on what is truly important because I know that this path is the path that I want to pursue, and there’s truly no other way that I can do it that aligns how I want it to. So I WILL pass next time around, I will be actively engaged in class and school and trust take advantage of my resources. I felt like for so long I had so much fear and anxiety for no reason, and I often made excuses and this did end up being my downfall. But next semester and next year I just want to put myself out there more, make a good name for myself and become the woman that I hope to be in my future. STRONG, BEAUTIFUL INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY, INTELLIGENT, & FOCUSED!!! It is definitely going to take a lot on my part but I truly want to put in the work, and even if it doesn’t work this time around I will do what I need to do ignorer to achieve my goals of being able to assist women at the bedside while they are giving the gift of life. Being able to help black women, in their experiences in delivering their children and ensuring that they are treated properly, and helping in the healthcare field in pushing these racial biases and speaking up for what is right. I know I will be able to do it, I just have to get it done. In due time :)
2 Timothy 1:7
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline”
Isaiah 35:4
“Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you”
Affirmations
constant criticism from others can kinda bring a girl down.. changing my view point of myself as well especially since we all tryna figure out who we are.. but i guess it’s just easier for some ppl when they are able to be in a stable place with the same familiar people around them, then the people around you keep you accountable for the person you are and if you change just by how your interactions between each other grow and develop over time.
i’m trying my best to work on remaining strong in myself and not allowing myself to bring myself down or take criticism from others to heart at all times. while it is something that i don’t enjoy to go through, it’s something that people are still going to do. but all i can truly do is work on the part that i can control, my reaction to these things.
this process in my head can sometimes be thrown off when someone says something to me that i might not like. i will be able to get to the point where i can remain at peace regardless of this. not letting the actions of others upset me. because people truly have their own individual struggles/ ways they might do things and that’s what makes us all unique. as a friend we come together to celebrate everyone’s differences and bond on shared experiences so i just hope that in whichever friend group i’m in my experiences and differences are accepted, rather than looked at as weird. strength on my end will also come when i can be at the point where i do not care if they think it’s weird. because that’s what i do or what i like. that’s how i feel about my music tastes, since this is something that means a lot to me.
for so long with being the person i am i have saught after friends or ppl to rely on and invest myself in their lives, while neglecting my own personal experiences. i want to get back to finding what things make me happy, what i like to do on my own for fun. being with sean i have neglected this for a bit, but i feel like we are strong in our relationship right now and the only missing puzzle piece is for me to get strong enough in myself. this would actually in turn cause some problems to not occur anymore either
At times I let my anxiety cause me to doubt myself more and more and focus on things microscopically.
Affirmations
I am strong within.
I am a beautiful woman inside and out.
I have valuable knowledge and experiences to share.
I am capable of doing the things I am anxious about doing.
September 16, 2022
September 16. 2022
this week definitely tested my reactivity. but i feel like as the week went on i was doing well with not letting it affect me. in times when i would usually think “oh this is the worst day” or if there were minor inconveniences, i thought to myself .. you can react to this. or you can still choose to have a good day regardless. and i feel like that was the best decision to make.
this year i am choosing me. finding who chante is right now and picking to do things that i know will further me in a direction that i wish to go, and trying to change how i react to certain situations. whether that is with family or friends or even relationship wise. i feel like we have been in a really good place for a while now, and i’m so happy about that. but i still am trying to work on not always making my problems his problems. and just picking carefully how i act when we’re together, because i realize how often i ruin a perfectly good moment because i get upset in thinking about the future. time to really live in the moment 😂 and just appreciate everything that is around me. i’m so grateful to be able to be at the institution that i am at, and i have never felt more apart of campus than i do right now. it just makes me happy that i feel so able to do it. last year it was a struggle even wanting to go to russell by myself 😭 which is why i’m so glad i went to the event at russell yesterday. it’s just so cool to be able to see everyone’s real personalities and getting to know everyone. i do get scared about how they might view me, but i just have to try my best to put my best foot forward and focus on what i can control.
i feel like with choosing me i still have not figured out how to have a good relationship with the friend group. there are a lot of things i realize i need to have patience with them about. because sometimes they truly might just be unaware.
i feel like this week has been full of choices, and i’m trying my best to choose me. to choose happiness and just enjoy life. i’m grateful for the blessings that i have been able to take advantage of, and i can’t wait to see what next week has in store.
with the opening of the upper division application.. i will say i am scared. scared that i might know everything that i need to know. scared that it might seem like i don’t have a passion for the profession. scared that my whole plan might be derailed. and it just doesn’t feel like it was going to come so quick, and here it is. i want to keep a positive outlook about it but i know how this can really make or break everything. i know when it really comes down to it i will know in my heart what will be best for me, but i truly want to get into upper division and i want to put in the effort to do so. i’m hoping that this is apart of my path, and even if it isn’t i trust that God will help me find whatever it might be.
although sometimes it can be difficult to keep your eye on the big picture, appreciating the little things truly can teach you to be grateful for the life that you have. with taking a break (a forced broke break at that) i’ve felt this as well. for so long i had so many negative thoughts and just wasn’t really having the best time on the regular. but i feel like being forced to really look at my life and work on what i feel is wrong, is what really helped me realize that half of the problems i create are from my own thoughts.
